Moms Of All Ages…Why A Week Off?
Are you doing all of this? Plus, a job outside of the home?
- Food distribution
- Clothing, clean and dirty
- Chauffeur Service
- Education Advisor
- Household looks
- Money Management, and most important:
- A Listening Ear, Laughter, Security and the “Owie Angel
How in hell could you possibly entertain the thought of a week off just for you?
With all that you handle, the main thing your loved ones pick up from you is your role modeling of how you treat yourself and live your life. Self worth and your spiritual path is the foundation you can lay for them to learn to handle all that comes their way.
Growing up in a large family, my mother was overworked. A beautiful woman with a talented opera voice put on hold, she handled every one of these jobs above, and as the 50’s role modeled, letting the man of the house feel most important. Yet there was no doubt the power, intelligence, and safety lay with my mother. The role model I learned was that all her brilliance was second to husband and children. I learned to be a “pleaser”….yuck!
As the years went on she smiled less and less, but never gave up her responsibilities. I was sad for her. I learned useful habits from her of hard work, taking care of those I loved, but also the things I loved (that’s not necessary) to put on the back burner. My deduction from this role modeling, even with her good intentions, was it must be the right thing to act less than those around you.
This role modeling made it hard for me to say “no” as a young teenager when I needed, hence other boys needs came first. I should have felt my needs and safety was to be first.
My mother taught good morals, but how she treated herself as being less-than is the role modeling that stuck despite all the news around me about woman and equal rights.
Her gift to me ended up being “when you lack time for your brilliance and passions, your life feels less.” She role modeled what not to do. It took years for me to realize this gift of her life, and not to put myself in second place.
Fast forward. 13 years into our marriage we decided to have our daughter. From day 1, I knew I was going to show her to take care of herself and feel equal to all. From the start I had Saturday mornings off for my sanity and stress release, and for my husband to bond and do things his way. When she was 4, I had a girl weekend in Cancun. When I had my second child, these yearly escapes became a much needed healthy one-week with girl friends. I planned and saved for it ahead of time.
What did this give to my family?
- Gift Of Flexibility Gave my husband and daughter their own space and way of doing things…there is always more than one way to handle things.
- Confidence for my nervous husband at first and my daughter. If I trusted they could handle it, then they thought maybe they could.
- Independence.They didn’t need me for those daily decisions I made 6 ½ days a week. That was already in them.
- Time For Your Dreams: They both learned that I cherished my dreams and they could do the same.
- Happy Mother: They saw that time off gave them a happier and fuller mother.
Remember, professionals get a paid week off their first year. Have you had yours, ever? Read my book Goodbye Self-Critical, Hello Self-Thrilled.