Tell That Nagging Voice To “Wait In The Car!”


Photo by David Castillo Dominici

Don’t you hate that voice that continually nags at you, especially when you want to make a change in your life? It doesn’t matter if the change is big or small. Like going in for an interview, or just trying to pick up the phone to even ask for one? Or the worst yet, the cold call. OMG! For me it’s the explaining of the unusual work I do just to hopefully peak their interest, much less get a gig.

But I know when I start to engage in what my work is, I love it, and my words come naturally and I listen more than I talk, and there is true communication. Yet before I get there, it used to take an act of ‘Meredith Burgess’, the gruffy old trainer from the film Rocky to even get me to pick up the phone and ignore that voice. But I have figured out a better way.

I realized it’s really just one character I have to deal with. One voice that loves to say I’m nothing, no ones needs you, they are already smart enough, who do you think you are. It’s that one voice that thrives being small and afraid. It’s that one voice that continues constantly in the fear based part of my psyche. It lives there with lots of other wonderful voices, my excitement voice, my self-thrilled voice, my singing voice, and my creative voice.

Yet when I attempt something new, of course my fear voice overtakes all my confident voices. Isn’t that outrageous? So I have one trick that works for me. Here are the steps:

  1. Give that voice a name. My voice is ‘Conred’.
  2. Realize ‘Conred: is just a young child afraid of the world and is not connected to your strengths and talents, or he wouldn’t be afraid
  3. Listen to him once, because he wants to be heard. (Such a nag!) He has no facts for his fear. Conred is based from the past and the unknown worries of the future. But the power is in the present, which he has no experience in.
  4. I visualize myself buckling him in a child’s car seat. Then I say, “Conred just wait in the car. There is nothing to be afraid of.” Just put him in his place and be the grown up. He is there for your growth and learning from past events that weren’t perfect. Don’t hang out with him. Go to the learning.
  5. Once he is quieted, my excited wise voice come through. This intuitive wise voice is the only one that knows my true gifts, wishes and creativity and she is always found in the present moment. I consciously make her my lead. Her name is “Tellaga.”
  6. Have fun with your ‘Conred’; don’t give him the power of being ‘too serious.’
  7. Then you get out of the car and jump in.

Sound silly? Not as silly as listening to a silly voice. Use silly to communicate to silly. It’s also important to laugh at this, feel at ease and experience the voices that you want to hear come forward. Getting him out of the way helps you live a life of fulfillment and help others do the same. Telling Conred to “wait in the car!” is the first step.

My current book is “Goodbye Self-Critical, Hello Self-Thrilled with Tellaga and Conred. It is a self-help journey of one girls who gives up on her main voice of intuition named “Tellaga”, the resulting problems and unhappiness that occurs, and how she gets Tellaga back when she is in her 30’s. A delightful fable to read over again and again for more insights.